


Everything I am now, everything I’m not anymore

by Rosalie42



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: A Little Bit of Humor, A little bit of angst, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Canon 6B, Post-Canon Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:14:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29134653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosalie42/pseuds/Rosalie42
Summary: Theo’s point of view.Six months after the end of the show.Theo never left Beacon Hills and now he and Liam need to confront their feelings for each other.The other two chapters are ready, I'll post them in the next few days :)
Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken
Comments: 20
Kudos: 86





	1. Stay

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone :)  
> This is just a fluff fanfic about Liam and Theo and their feelings, so all the details about enemies, missions, etc are extremely vague. 
> 
> TW: non-graphic mention of blood and wounds, and some swearing.

Theo woke up alone, in the dark. Confused, alarmed, with his heart racing.

Something was wrong, he could feel it in his bones.

Well, first of all, he shouldn’t have been alive.

He was laying on a mattress that was on the floor of an empty room, without windows and with a thick steel door.

He could smell some familiar scents, but they were very far and in his actual condition he only recognized Liam’s in the mix.

Pressing on his temples, he tried to remember.

The warehouse.

 _Fuck._ He was still in the warehouse.

The ambush.

The blood.

The screams.

The deaths.

Scott and Mason had been trapped like two morons.

Theo tried to breathe deeply, to help his brain to remember.

He had blocked Liam, trapped him too, almost like that time in the elevator, at the hospital. That now seemed like a lifetime ago, even though it was less than six months.

Focus, Theo. Focus.

The battle in the warehouse.

Liam had yelled at him and tried to punch him. Well, that wasn’t hard to remember, it was a tradition. But Liam wanted to help his friends, and the only way to do that was practically a suicide.

Theo couldn’t let him die. But he couldn’t let Liam watch his friends being torn to pieces either, he knew better than hurt the wolf like that.

So, he had made the only choice he was left with.

Another deep breath to recall those memories.

Shockingly he wasn’t killed right away, but the creatures had captured him, taken him to their own sort of pack. There were dozens of them. Theo shivered at the thought.

Then they had started to torture him, until Theo had fallen unconscious.

And now, he was in the warehouse alone, and all seemed quiet, and he wasn’t dead.

He could feel his wounds were almost completely healed, so with another deep breath he stood and moved forward towards the door.

He was sure to find it locked, but it opened without a creak, so he wasn’t a prisoner, after all. And suddenly he could hear voices, too.

Scott’s was the loudest, even though they were all whispering.

“Yeah, if Deaton doesn’t show up… don’t know… couldn’t talk to him…”, he was saying.

So, Scott was alive. Theo didn’t die for nothing.

Then Theo remembered he wasn’t dead at all.

With the millionth deep breath, he walked towards the voices.

They came from another room, two rooms further down the hallway. Not a creature in sight, but a lot of blood on the walls, visible thanks to a few crackling light bulbs hanging from the ceiling. Well, there was a lot of blood on his ripped clothes too.

When he was halfway there, all the whispers stopped. Surely, they had heard him, and now they were waiting for him.

He wasn’t wrong. When Theo finally stood before the entrance, they were all looking at him through the open door.

“You’re awake”, Scott said, loud, with a severe tone. The chimera wasn’t sure he could really hope in something better, at least the alpha didn’t sound too disappointed. There was blood on him too, but apart from that he seemed pretty okay. At his side, Stiles was looking at Theo with the usual disgust.

Theo moved his gaze around, looking in the eyes of every single person in the room, just to find out what he already knew: Liam wasn’t there. But he was close, his scent was close. His _heartbeat_ was close.

“What happened? Why am I alive?”, Theo asked, returning his gaze on Scott. Not the first thing he wanted to ask, but he hoped for a detailed explanation.

Scott was looking directly into his eyes, studying him, saying nothing. Like he was deciding what to do with him.

Theo didn’t like that look.

 _“Answer me!”_ , he yelled, all of a sudden, clenching his fists.

Then some noise from the room next to theirs hit all their ears but Stiles’. Like someone knocking on the floor to get their attention.

_“Liam is here."_

Or maybe just to get Theo’s attention.

It was Mason’s voice, loud but calm, steady. He knew Theo could hear him even from behind a closed door. He turned around on his heels and followed the voice and Mason’s and Liam’s scents.

Someone behind him tried to stop him, but Scott intervened and let Theo go, but then the alpha and the rest of the pack went after him.

When Theo opened the door, he was already expecting to find Liam unconscious, but that sight still hurt him like hell.

There was a mattress on the floor in there too, with Liam lying on it, eyes closed, body covered in blood. Theo could tell that some wasn’t Liam’s, but some was. His body was also covered in deep wounds, even his face. Theo’s heart skipped a bit.

Sitting on the floor, holding Liam’s hand, was Mason. His eyes were red from crying but just now his face was dry.

Theo had frozen at the centre of the room, and Corey went past him to reach for Mason, offering help to get his boyfriend on his feet.

Theo moved his eyes from Mason to Scott, who was now almost next to him.

“Why am I alive?”, he asked again, fists still clenched. “And what happened to Liam?” His voice trembled saying that name out loud. He hoped the others didn’t notice.

“Your questions have the same answer”, Scott said, coldly.

“What the hell does it mean?!” Theo frowned, getting angry, getting nervous. He looked at Liam, breathing deeply once again, trying to cool himself down. He hated that they were all there, looking at him.

“He saved you”, Mason said. “That’s why you’re still alive. When they got you, we…”, he gestured between himself and Scott. “…we went to free him and tried to convince him to come with us, but he slipped away in the middle of a fight to find you.”

“He’s got wounds”, Theo said.

“He’s not healing properly. We don’t know why”, Lydia said, her voice unsteady. “Maybe we were too late”.

“But they _are_ healing, even if not as fast as they should. Still faster than human ones. And something like… an hour ago, he murmured some words in his sleep, and moved a little”, added Mason, like someone who’s refusing to give up hope.

“What did he say?”, Scott asked, surprised.

Mason looked away from him. “It was barely a whisper, I didn’t catch it.”

Theo knew he was lying, and Scott knew too for sure, but didn’t insist.

Theo moved his gaze on Liam. That damn wolf. What an idiot.

“He should have left me to die”, he said.

“I agree”, Stiles said, behind him.

And then, Liam moved his head and a leg, and in a second Theo was next to him, on the floor.

Mason had moved at the same time, but wasn’t as fast, so stopped himself halfway, staring at Theo, who was now in his spot.

“Liam?”, Theo called, his voice so low and broken he wanted to punch himself.

His hands were hovering over Liam’s, wanting to hold him, but hesitating.

“You are his anchor”, Mason murmured.

Every head in the room turned to him, Theo’s included.

“What?”, he asked.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know it already”. This time Mason’s voice was almost rude.

Well, Theo had thought about that, sometimes. Even if Liam always yelled at him, always broke his noise when they were fighting – and they fought very often -, and even if he was always against his plans or ideas, Liam still looked for him every time there was a problem, every time he felt too angry or too desperate, and the past few months even when he was just bored and wanted company. Liam even forced him to stop sleeping in his truck, finding him a little apartment not far from his own house. And the anchor thing… that was there in Liam’s eyes every time they looked at each other for more than one second.

“I wasn’t sure”, Theo said to Mason.

“But it’s true. He told me”, the other said.

“And he is yours”, Scott added, harshly.

Ah, what a pleasant conversation. Theo really wanted to die now.

“Who knows…”, he mumbled, returning his gaze on Liam, who was now moving just a little bit, like he was simply sleeping, perhaps having a vivid dream. One of the wounds, the very big one on Liam’s chest, that Theo could see through the ripped shirt, was changing its color, beginning to heal. It was almost impossible to realize a change so little, for human senses, but Theo could tell it was happening even without touching Liam.

“ _I_ know”, Scott said. “Otherwise you would’ve left that day.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t tease me, man”. Scott was about to lose his temper. “After the hospital you wanted to leave. Liam asked you to stay.”

“That’s not the reason I stayed.”

“Then why? What was the reason? Why did you stay in Beacon Hills, where you didn’t have friends, a pack, a job, a house? What was here for you? You were already leaving. What stopped you, if it wasn’t Liam? I heard him begging you to stay.”

“If you already have all the answers, what the hell do you want from me?”

Theo was starting to get angry again.

“You’re each other anchors”, Mason said. “Maybe you can help him. Look at his face. It’s been more relaxed since you came in here.”

“His wolf can feel you, regain its strength”, Scott added.

“If so, why did you put me at the other side of the building?!”, Theo asked, with sarcasm and fire in his eyes.

“Because you were screaming”, Malia said, like she was talking about the weather. “A lot. Nightmares, I suppose.”

 _Shit,_ Theo thought. He could have seen that coming.

Well, he probably didn’t have a dignity anymore anyway. He brought the eyes back on Liam and hold the wolf’s hand between his own.

“Liam”, he called again, leaning down and whispering into the other boy’s ear. “Liam, wake up.”

Liam didn’t open his eyes, but moved.

Encouraged, Theo kept whispering, just calling the wolf’s name, telling Liam that his pack was waiting for him, that _Theo_ was waiting for him, that he had to wake up. At the same time, Theo kept holding his hand, firmly, caressing the back of the wolf’s hand with his thumbs.

The others stayed still, without talking, almost holding their breath.

Theo couldn’t say how much time had passed, but at some point, Liam opened his eyes.

Theo felt Liam’s hand squeeze, weakly, sure, but still, he was awake, and turned his head towards him, and… Liam smiled at him. It was quick, and spontaneous.

“Are you in pain?”, was the first thing Theo asked, clearing his throat, trying to sound practical.

“Not so much”, Liam murmured.

“He’s really healing”, Scott said, who was widely smiling now, same as the others, walking towards his beta.

Mason kneeled next to Theo, lifting a shred of Liam’s jeans, pointing at one wound on the thigh. “See? He’s healing faster since you came in. I told you”.

That was true, even though _faster_ wasn’t good enough in Theo’s opinion. At that rate, the wounds would be completely healed in days. But was that normal? Could the voice of your anchor help like that even if you were unconscious?

Liam stretched a little, trying to sit on the mattress. Theo helped him, but then let go of his hand, standing, allowing Mason to replace him.

“You scared the hell out of me”, the human boy said to his best friend, smiling.

So… that was it. Now Theo had to leave for real.

He looked Liam in the eyes for what he thought would be the last time, enjoying the blue eyes, the soft smile, the messy hair, and then, without a single word, he turned to head for the door.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Liam’s hoarse voice reached him, but Theo ignored it.

Scott jerked without hesitation, positioning himself between Theo and the exit. “Don’t you dare”, the alpha growled.

“Move”, Theo replied, with the same harshness.

“What’s your problem, dude?” That was Corey.

“You cannot leave!” And this one was Liam again, louder, with a painful groan.

Theo sensed him getting on his feet, with Mason’s help, but he was still staring aggressively at Scott.

“Move”, he said again, ready to fight him.

Corey slipped next to Scott, and Malia did the same.

Three against one, awesome. And Theo was still feeling a little weak.

“How can you leave?! What’s your fucking problem?!” Liam yelled painfully, and Mason whispered an _“easy”_ while trying to get him to sit again.

The three bodyguards were still blocking his way, and Theo’s anger rose.

He turned to face Liam again.

“My fucking problem is that you are a fucking idiot!”, he yelled in return. “We can’t be in the same city… we can’t be in the same fucking _State_ if you’re going to risk your life like that!”

“I was trying to save _you!_ ”

“Exactly!”

“As a matter of fact, I actually _did!_ ”

“What are you expecting?! A _thank you_ note?!”

They were both clenching their fists, faces flushed, breathing heavily. It was like no one else was in the room, even if it was packed, with Mason right next to the beta, holding his hip and arm to keep him standing.

“No”, Liam said, calmer now. “I just wanted to save you.”

“Well, you should have left me to die”, said Theo, for the second time that night. But now Stiles had the decency to remain silent.

“Fuck you”, Liam literally split out. “Then you shouldn’t have sacrificed yourself for me!”

Theo had had enough. He tried to exit the room again, but Scott, Malia and Corey were still on the door.

“Move”, he tried again. He didn’t have the energy for a fight, he just wanted to leave and being miserable by himself, far away from the only person who could keep him sane.

“Why did you do it?”, Liam whispered, but it was loud in Theo’s ears.

“What?”, Theo asked, abruptly, turning his head but not his body, eyeing at Liam – at Liam’s feet, to be honest, because he wasn’t brave enough - above the shoulder.

“Why did you keep me out of the way and sacrificed yourself in my place?” Liam’s voice was shaking.

“Take a guess”, Theo answered, exhausted but not physically, watching the alpha once again. “ _Please_ , move.”

Scott looked over at Liam, but Liam didn’t say anything to him, he just continued to stare at Theo’s back.

“Liam”, Mason said, softly. “Let him go. He’s hurting.”

Oh, cool, now even stupid humans were pitying him. Theo looked again into Scott’s eyes, imploring. Not something he thought he could ever do, but apparently life hated him _that_ much.

“I know that”, Liam said, with a voice so broken that one could tell he was hurting even more. “But I want to know why. I deserve to know.”

Theo turned to face him. “The only thing you deserve is for me to break your fucking nose!” He took some steps towards the wolf. “You can’t risk your life for me like you did tonight! You could’ve _died!_ You have a family, a pack, friends! You have a fucking real life, Liam! You can’t be so reckless!”

“I’m not reckless! I didn’t have a choice! They were _killing_ you!”

“Who fucking cares?!”

 _“I care!”_ , Liam yelled, so loud he almost lost his balance, in spite of Mason’s grip.

Theo could feel Liam’s heartbeat as loud as his voice.

“You shouldn’t. Don’t you remember? I am a murderer. A monster”, he said, and he could imagine the others nodding, agreeing with him. But the truth was, no one did nothing like that, not even Stiles. “Tell your friends to let me go, forget about my existence, try to keep yourself out of trouble. That’s it.”

Theo was heading again towards the door, when Liam whispered: _“Stay”_.

That word again. The same word Liam used the first time, after what happened at the hospital, begging Theo not to leave him.

Scott finally moved from the door, gesturing the others to exit the room. They all did, Mason with doubt on his face, clearly not so sure Liam could stand on his feet much longer without any help.

When they were all in the hallway but Scott, the alpha cleared his throat and Theo met his gaze. 

“I cannot forget, and I cannot forgive. But I’m not blind, and I paid attention. I know you’re trying to be better, I know you’re good for my beta. I can accept that. If you decide to stay, you have a pack here”, and with that the alpha left the room, shutting the door behind him.

Theo and Liam were alone.

“I just don’t want you to go”, the wolf said, voice low, more because he was tired of yelling than because he didn’t want to be heard from outside.

“Why?”, Theo asked, his heart ready to escape from his body.

“Take a guess”, Liam mocked him with a weak grin.

“Tonight wasn’t the first time you did something stupid to help me in a fight”, Theo replied, not really answering. And of course, _something stupid_ was a euphemism. And if Theo had to be honest with himself, it was more common for him to do something stupid to save Liam’s life than the other way around. Maybe they were just bad for each other.

“I do a lot of stupid things”, the wolf nodded.

Theo frowned. Where were they going with that?

“Yeah…?”, he said.

“See?” Liam’s smile expanded a little. “You have to stay to protect me from myself.”

“This is ridiculous”, Theo said, trying to sound annoyed, but he couldn’t help to grin, trying to hide the gesture biting his lips. Another thing that changed since he and Liam got closer, Theo smiled a lot more, and they were genuine smiles and laughs, not sarcastic ones.

“Listen, I get why you want to leave”, Liam started, but Theo stopped him.

“Do you?”, he asked, doubtful.

“I know you have nothing here. I know that giving me a ride to school or to Mason’s with your truck it’s annoying. I know that watching a movie with me or play videogames together it’s just something you do out of boredom. And I know that your apartment is way too tiny, and working part time in a faucets’ factory isn’t exactly what you want to do with your life. I know you hate to be dragged in every Beacon Hills supernatural fight, and they are incredibly a lot. You’ve changed, and now you deserve better and maybe you can find that out there”. Liam paused to take a deep breath, a hand pressed on a wound on his hip. “But…” and he paused again, his cheeks _blushing_.

Theo bit his lips again, trying not to smile and failing miserably.

“If you put it like that, looks like I really don’t have reasons to stay. There was a point in what you wanted to say or can I just go?”

“The reason is that I am a selfish asshole and I want you here”, Liam said, his voice clear. Then he lowered his gaze. “You’re my anchor”, he added.

“I know. Mason told me.”

Liam snorted. “He’s gonna pay for that.”

“He told me because they thought my presence could help you heal. They were right.”

“Oh. Thanks, then.”

“You don’t have to thank me.”

They looked at each other.

Theo sighed. “Liam… I don’t think there’s a better life waiting for me somewhere else. I like the life I have now. I know it’s a lame thing to say, but I really like it. I want to leave because you are already always willing to risk your life for Mason, or Scott. I owe you too much. I don’t want to be another reason for you to put your life at risk. I don’t want you to die because of me, like you almost did tonight. It’s not fair. I won’t allow that.”

“You owe me nothing.”

“I owe you everything. Everything I am now, everything I’m not anymore.”

Liam took some steps forward, stopping right in front of Theo.

“I deserve the chance to witness this _everything_ you talk about, then”, the wolf said, looking straight into the other one’s eyes.

“Why do you think I am your anchor?”, the chimera asked. He was afraid of the answer, because he wasn’t brave or strong enough to deal with it, with the consequences, but in that moment, he just wanted to surrender, to know for sure.

“Because life has a great sense of humour?”

They both grinned.

“It really does”, Theo said. “Because you’re my anchor, too.”

The wolf’s smile could compete with the sun.

 _“Stay”_ , Liam said again, and Theo started wondering how was it possible for both of them to still standing.

And maybe they just had made that whole scene for nothing, they had yelled for nothing, because in the end, staring into Liam’s eyes, Theo knew that he could never leave for real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language, so I’m afraid there are some errors, I’m sorry. Of course, comments pointing them out are very appreciated. Thank you! I hope you enjoyed the reading :)


	2. Closer

Theo took Liam’s hand, and the wolf held his breath for a moment.

“You need to lay down”, the chimera said, guiding him to sit on the mattress again.

Liam obeyed without a word, then Theo let go and went to open the door.

The others weren’t in the hallway but they were close enough.

“What’s the plan?”, he asked to no one, in a calm voice, staring at Liam.

One second later the whole pack emerged from the room where he first had found them.

“Are you going to stay?”, Scott asked, like he didn’t perfectly hear the whole conversation between the chimera and the wolf.

Theo said nothing, just waited with one brow up.

Scott sighed. “We have work to do. The few survivors are gone but we need to track them and find out where they came from.”

“I can help”, Theo said. He was very curious to find out if Scott had been serious, if the chimera would be welcomed in the pack.

The alpha moved his eyes from Theo to Liam and then to Theo again. “You two should stay close until Liam is fully healed. Can you take him home?”

“I can’t go home”, Liam said. “My mom can’t see me like this.”

“We’re going to my place”, Theo offered.

That was unfortunate. First of all, he wanted to find the creatures and make them pay for what they had done to Liam, not to mention that right now he felt full of energy and wanted to release it. What could be better than tracking some preys and maybe another good fight? Most of all, it didn’t seem like a marvellous idea to him to be left alone with Liam after their conversation, now that his moment of weakness had passed. Theo could detect a change in Liam’s behaviour and scent, a sense of surrender that scared Theo more than every supernatural threat he had ever run into.

But there was nothing to do about that. They needed to be together, so Theo agreed to take Liam to his tiny apartment. It was just a couple of rooms, to be honest. There were just a bathroom and a big bedroom with a small television, a wardrobe and a corner with a stove and a microwave. He didn’t even have a table, he ate sitting on his double bed. It wasn’t an ideal solution, but with his current salary that was the best he could afford. Liam had offered to help him, but Theo didn’t want him to, the wolf had already done enough. The chimera had a lot of books, too, but they were hidden under the bed.

Theo parked the truck as close as possible to his apartment building. Liam could walk without support, but slow, resting against a wall every now and then. The stairs were a problem, Theo just wanted to pick him up in his arms but Liam refused, cheeks red, a little offended.

“You’re wounded”, Theo said. “Swallow your fucking pride, idiot.”

“Shut the fuck up!”

A lifetime later, they were finally into Theo’s apartment.

“Maybe you should try to sleep”, Theo said.

“First of all, I think I need to clean myself up”.

“Need help?”

“Wanna come with me in the shower?”, Liam winked.

“You can’t shower! You can barely stand on your feet.”

“I know, thank you very much!”

Theo repressed the instinct to punch him in the face and could swear Liam was doing the same.

“Wait”, he said instead, and went to grab some clean towels, a t-shirt and a pair of boxers, placing them on the sink. “I don’t have much for those”, he added, eyeing at the bright red wounds on Liam’s body, trying not to stare much. “But there is some alcohol and a pair of bandages in the first drawer. I’ll give you some privacy but if you need help… I’m right here.”

“Thanks, but it’s okay, I’m not bleeding anymore”.

“Good”.

It was true. The blood on Liam’s skin, around the wounds, was old and dry. The cuts were still impressive, though, they seemed almost alive.

Liam closed himself into the bathroom and Theo sighed, sitting on his bed. He ran a hand on his face, realizing he was dirty and covered in blood too.

Every ten minutes he would ask Liam if everything was okay, gaining an annoyed positive answer, and more than half an hour later the wolf finally came out of the bathroom.

Now that his skin was clean, the wounds stood out even more, and Theo’s heart ached at the sight.

“Are you sure you are okay?”

“I’m sure”, Liam answered, a little annoyed. “Thanks for the clothes”, he added, in a gentler tone, pointing at the white clean t-shirt he was wearing now.

“There are trousers in the closet, and some of your snacks in the usual place”, he said, referring at the cabinet above the stove. He always had some of Liam’s favourite snacks. “Make yourself at home”.

“Like movie night”, Liam said, with a grin.

“Yeah, like movie night”, Theo laughed.

When Liam had discovered that Theo loved action movies, he had bought him the TV, and after installing it he had stayed to watch the first _Indiana Jones_ together. And some days later they had watched the second one, and then the third one, and soon it had become a tradition.

Theo went into the bathroom to shower, and when he came back to bed, he found Liam already lying on his back onto his side of the bed – yes, they had sides for movie night -, still in the t-shirt and the boxers and nothing else, head on the pillow and eyes closed.

Theo could feel that the beta wasn’t sleeping, but asked anyway.

“Are you awake?”, he whispered.

“Yes, but I’m tired”, Liam replied, without moving.

Theo turned off the light. It was shortly after dawn, so some light still filtered from the window, and the room wasn’t completely dark.

The chimera, in a black t-shirt and a pair of boxers himself, with his hair still damp, went to lay next to Liam.

Theo couldn’t help but stare at the other boy. The wounds were really healing, even if slower than they should’ve. Liam had put a bandage on the big one on his chest, Theo could see it under the shirt.

“Stop staring”, Liam said.

Theo felt himself blushing. “Sorry”, then he cleared his throat. “I thought you had stopped bleeding. What’s that for?”

“It’s just ugly. I could see it through the fabric, not sure you could handle it. Next time _you_ take the white shirt”.

 _Oh no_ , Theo thought. _White’s your abs’ colour_.

“I’m not that easy to upset. Plus, it will be gone soon”.

“Well, today you look pretty sensitive”.

“Shut up, idiot”.

They stayed silent for a bit, then Liam opened his eyes but fixed them on the ceiling.

“Can you move closer?”

Theo swallowed. They were already pretty close, more than during movie night. Both their hearts were racing. The last time they had touched each other, even slightly, was in the warehouse.

“The closer you are, the stronger my wolf gets”, Liam explained. It was a fair conclusion and a reasonable request, after all, but he sounded nervous anyway, and Theo felt full of affection toward him. _I can’t believe I fell for this idiot._

So, Theo brought himself closer, leaving just an inch between them. Liam was still lying on his back, but Theo was on his side, staring at him again. He let his gaze move from Liam’s face to his chest, then to his waist and to his thighs. There was a wound alongside Liam’s thigh that went from under the boxers till the knee.

Without thinking, on instinct, Theo’s hand reached for it, gentle fingers on the cut, caressing the exposed part of the wound.

Liam held his breath but said nothing, just looked at him. One of the wolf’s hand went to set down on the chimera’s arm, not to stop him but just needing the touch, or maybe even to encourage him.

Theo’s eyes were still on the thigh, were the wound, under his touch, started to heal much faster. In a couple of minutes there was nothing left, not even a scar.

“How’s that possible?”, Theo asked, barely a whisper, turning his gaze on Liam’s face.

Liam was grinning. “I have no idea, but my wolf is intoxicated by that, apparently”.

Theo could tell. Liam’s heartbeat was incredibly loud and his look was eager.

“And you’re okay with that?”

“What do you think?” Liam asked, breathless, grinning.

The wolf sat up on the bed, and while Theo was doing the same, the beta pulled off his t-shirt.

“What are you doing?”, Theo asked, wishing to die on the spot.

“Could you… would you do it again?”, Liam removed the bandage from his chest, then looked Theo in the eyes.

Of course he would. They both sat with their legs crossed, facing each other.

Liam was clearly nervous but also impatient at the same time.

Theo’s hands were shaking a bit, but Liam didn’t say anything about it.

The wound was deeper than the other one, made of several cuts. The chimera touched it with his fingers, and rested the palm on Liam’s injured skin, exactly above the wolf’s bursting heart.

Liam’s sigh of relief was loud, and the boy’s face went bright red.

Theo smiled slightly at him, caressing his chest like he had done with the thigh, watching amazed as the wound healed under his gaze and touch.

That took a little bit longer, but when it was completely healed, without a word, his eyes locked into Liam’s, Theo moved his fingers over the abs, - slower than necessary, but who could blame him? -, stopping at the wolf’s hip, where there was another deep cut.

Part of Theo wanted to withdraw his hands from Liam’s body, but couldn’t. They were staring at each other and it was magnetic, as always.

 _No, not as always_ , Theo thought. _More_.

The wound on the hip disappeared under the chimera’s fingers, and he moved the hands to Liam’s arms, where other cuts healed. He caressed the now cured muscles some seconds more, making the wolf shivering. Then Theo’s hands went to Liam’s legs, trying to stay away from the boxers, in an attempt not to touch more than he should, more than Liam would have allowed.

The boxers weren’t tight, so he couldn’t be sure, but he had the impression Liam was getting hard. _I sure am, dammit_ , Theo thought, trying not to think about it. _I hope he doesn’t notice_. How naïve.

“Thank you”, Liam whispered. His bare chest was moving fast, harmonizing with his breaths.

Suddenly Theo could smell something different in the air. The familiar scent of Liam was corrupted with something new.

No, impossible.

It was… it was really lust? Desire? _Arousal?_

For a moment he panicked, thinking it was coming from him and Liam could feel it, but then he realized it was coming from Liam himself.

And for some reasons, that was even worse.

Because even if Theo could admit that Liam now saw him as someone who was not an enemy anymore, fuck, even as a friend, they were each other anchors, after all… there was no fucking hope that Liam could like him _that way_. Absolutely not. Theo was pretty sure Liam was into girls. And still, even if he was interested in boys, no fucking way he could be interested in _Theo_ that way.

Maybe Liam just needed to get laid, who knew the last time he did.

That scent didn’t mean anything and surely it was so strong because of course some of it was coming from Theo.

“Scott was almost nice to me today. I can be nice with his beta”, he tried to distract himself.

“He wasn’t _nice_. He was _not so rude”_ , Liam laughed. “And you’re always nice to me.”

“That’s not true”, Theo rolled his eyes.

“You’re right. But you know what I mean.”

Yes, Theo knew. Even if they were always bickering about something, by now they respected each other in the ways that matter. Not only regarding important matters, but even about stupid ones. After the _Indiana Jones_ marathon, they always argued about what movie they would watch, and even if sometime one of them would end up with a broken nose – Theo, most of the times -, Liam never left and Theo never kicked him out and they would just watch a random documentary on History Channel, the beta’s favourite, just to spend time together. Liam would surprise Theo giving him a new book every week as a present, because now that he had the time, the chimera had discovered that he liked reading very much, and the wolf always knew what novel Theo wanted to read next, so he was sure Liam spied on him every time he was in a library or a book shop. Even if Theo hated Mexican food, just like every other Liam’s friend, he was the only one who was willing to take him to a Mexican restaurant in a small town nearby, and Theo loved those short road trips, when they were alone in the truck for about an hour, singing songs out loud along with the radio, and he loved to eat tacos and burritos sitting across from the wolf, in a proper restaurant, like it was a date.

Not to mention the _dying for each other_ thing in battle.

“I’m almost done”, Theo said, looking all over Liam’s body, without shame for once, because this time he had a reasonable reason.

“I think I have a couple of cuts on my back, too”, said Liam, biting his lips.

 _Do you?,_ Theo wanted to ask with a smirk, because by the way the wolf was acting, it looked like a shameless lie. Liam never got tired of teasing him. _Well, we can both play this game_ , he thought.

Instead of moving along the bed to position himself behind the other one, Theo just stretched out, covering Liam’s body with his own, their knees and shoulders and arms touching, Theo’s chin on Liam’s shoulder, Theo’s temple against Liam’s temple, and Theo’s hands on Liam’s back.

But the wounds were there, the wolf didn’t lie.

At the sudden move, Liam had gasped and the scent of arousal became more intense.

Theo continued to move his fingers on Liam’s skin, with his eyes shut, and when he couldn’t feel the wounds anymore, he let go and returned in his original position, but now he was closer than before, and the knees of the two boys were still touching.

“Thanks”, Liam said again, his face red and warm. He looked at Theo and then smiled, reaching for a lock of damp hair that had fallen in front of the chimera’s eyes, moving it to free his look.

 _Fuck, this isn’t helping_ , Theo thought.

“Last thing”, he said instead, not at all surprised that his voice was rasping. He took his hands on Liam’s face, surrounding the cheeks, thumbs on the bruised lips. The cuts on Liam’s face weren’t deep and had already started healing, so they were gone within seconds, but still Theo took a minute to enjoy the moment, pretty sure it would never happen again.

“You’re glowing”, Theo said, before he could stop himself. But he was right, Liam was beaming.

They were still looking at each other straight in the eyes.

“I feel better”, Liam said, fighting an evident urge to disappear from the world.

“Me too. We should sleep”. Theo didn’t want to embarrass him any longer.

Liam nodded, but neither of them would move.

“Under the sheets?”, Liam finally asked.

Sometimes, after movie night or just after a videogame session at Liam’s, if it got late, they would spend the night together, but always sleeping over the duvet, as far away as possible from each other.

But that night it didn’t seemed right.

“Sure”, Theo answered, and jumped off the bed.

“Where are you going? You’re not sleeping on the floor, right?”

“What?”, Theo was a bit confused.

“Look, I’m sorry, we will sleep as usual, but there’s no need t-”

“Shut the fuck up, you idiot”, Theo laughed. He took a step to reach the minifridge under the stove. “Want a glass of water?”

Liam covered his face with both hands. “Yes”, he said, loud, with a groan.

“I swear, I don’t know why I keep talking to you, not to say everything else”. The chimera handed out a glass to the wolf with a smirk.

Liam rolled his eyes. “Everything else _what?”_

Theo’s fingertips were still burning from the contact with Liam’s skin. _Yeah… what?_

He didn’t say anything and they just drank. They both placed the glasses on the nightstands and pulled out the duvet.

They squeezed in, Liam on his side, facing the wall, Theo on his back, looking at the ceiling, hands under his head.

The beta was still almost completely naked, in Theo’s boxers, but the chimera had no interest in reminding him to put back on the t-shirt.

They stayed silent for a while. Theo could tell that Liam was still awake even if the wolf was trying hard to stabilize his heartbeat and his breath.

“You should sleep”, he whispered. He could smell something bothering the wolf.

“I’m sleeping”, Liam said, annoyed.

“You’re not”.

“Because you’re talking”.

“I’m talking because you’re not sleeping”.

“I’m not sleeping because I’m fucking scared!”, Liam almost yelled, and Theo turn to him, but the beta was still facing the wall, holding onto the pillow under his head with all the strength he had just regained.

“Of what?”

“Every time I close my eyes, I see them coming for me…”

“I know”, Theo interrupted him. It hurt to hear the pain and the fear in Liam’s voice, plus, he already knew very well how it was to have nightmares about being tortured.

“How do you manage?”, Liam asked in a whisper.

“You slept in the same room with me plenty of times. You know how it goes. I’m not really the one who can give you advices”.

“I have something to confess”.

“ _What?”_ Now Theo turned on his side, and Liam did the same, to face him.

Theo could tell the wolf was in distress. “What?”, he asked again, worried.

“I was already pretty sure I was your anchor”.

Theo snorted. “It doesn’t take a genius”.

“When you’re having a nightmare, usually all it takes for you to calm down and stop screaming is for me to talk to you or to touch you”.

Theo eyes widened. “You… you touch me when I’m sleeping?!”

“On your shoulder! Or your arms… sometimes your… your face or your hair”. Liam looked like someone who’s biggest wish was to be swallowed into the ground. “Nothing… _inappropriate!_ Who do you think I am?!”

Theo’s most beautiful grin showed up on his face. “Still… fucking creepy. And you talk to my sleeping self too, you weirdo. What do you say?”.

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna do it again.”

Clearly hurt, Liam turned to face the wall again.

“Will it help you sleep… holding my hand?”

It was a whisper so low that Theo wasn’t even sure Liam could understand it, even with his wolf’s hearing.

But he did, because in a moment he was looking at the chimera again.

“Would you do it?” Liam looked surprised.

“Only six hours ago I literally jumped in a mortal situation for you. What do you think?” And with that, Theo stretched out his open hand in the middle of the bed, between their bodies.

They were completely under the duvet, only their heads out, but Liam felt the movement and it took barely a second for him to find Theo’s hand and intertwined their fingers together.

“About that…”, Liam said. “I’m still angry at you”.

“I’m used to it”.

“You’re a fucking idiot”.

“You’re hurting me”.

“I’m telling the truth”.

Theo laughed. “With your hand. No need to break my bones”.

Liam’s grip relaxed. “Maybe I just want to make sure you’re not gonna leave in the middle of the night, since it became a habit”. His tone was harsh and blaming.

“It’s not night. We arrived here at dawn, remember? I bet it’s past nine o’clock. We’re lucky it’s a Sunday”.

“You’re changing the subject”.

“I’m _tired_ , Liam, for fucks sake!” Theo snorted and gave him a squeeze. “I promise I’m not going anywhere. Can we please just sleep?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is gonna be the last one!  
> Thanks for the kudos and the comments, they made my day <3
> 
> Like I said in the previous chapter: English is not my first language, so I’m afraid there are some errors, I’m sorry. Of course, comments pointing them out are very appreciated. Thank you! I hope you enjoyed the reading :)


	3. About us

They did sleep, but not for long.

Someone was knocking vigorously at Theo’s front door.

“It’s Mason…”, Liam murmured, pulling back his head under the duvet.

“I know”, Theo said, eyes still shut. It was easy to guess even without supernatural senses.

Then Theo realized they were still holding hands, and that their whole bodies were closer than before. Again, there was something different in the air but this time it wasn’t desire. A sense of calm, even delight, something that could be defined as _feeling at home_. It was not unfamiliar, because it wasn’t the first time Liam’s scent told him the wolf was feeling safe and comfortable with him. But this time was different, stronger. _Conscious_ , maybe?

Theo got scared for real. He let go of Liam’s hand – the wolf reacted with a groan – and jumped off the bed to open the door.

“God, I thought you were _dead!_ Why did it take you so long?”, Mason complained. Then, noticing the chimera’s sleepy eyes. “Oh, you were still sleeping”.

Theo growled.

“Yes. We fell asleep, like, two hours ago, man. What the fuck do you want?”

“Two hours?! What did you do all morning?” Mason marched towards Theo’s bedroom. “Scott said tha-” and then he stopped, looking at Liam in shock.

Theo caught up with him, a little worried, and glanced at the bed.

Both pillows were creased, all the sheets tangled up. The wolf was now sitting, his bare chest exposed, and if Theo didn’t know he was wearing the boxers, he would’ve thought…

“You’re naked. In Theo’s bed. _You’re naked in Theo’s bed”_.

Mason was so shocked that Theo slipped out a laugh.

“What? No, I’m no-”, Liam panicked.

“Shut up, I don’t have time for this now. Corey’s waiting for me outside”. With that, the human moved the curtains and waved from the window. Someone’s car – Corey’s, of course – honked. “Scott wants the pack at the usual spot in thirty minutes. Don’t be late”. Then smiled mischievously at his best friend. “Happy to see that you’re as good as new already”.

With the same rush of his arrival, Mason walked past Theo and disappeared outside. Theo closed the front door and returned to the bedroom.

“You two are going to have a fun conversation”, he joked, yawning.

“I’m sorry the healing part took so long, you needed to sleep more”. Liam said, awkwardly.

“I’m not complaining”, Theo let slip out.

Ah, _that_ sure was awkward.

They both fell silent, looking at each other, then heard someone from outside open a car door and then Mason’s voice.

_“That bisexual little shit is naked in Theo’s bed! So I was right and Lydia owes me twenty bucks!”_

_“Shut up! They can hear you!”_

_“Shit!”_

The engine started running and a second later the car was gone.

“Fuck”, Liam cried out, rubbing his eyes with both hands.

“What does that mean?”, Theo asked, clenching his jaw.

“What?”, the wolf asked with a sigh of surrender, looking at him again. “That I’m bi?”

“I know what _that_ means!” Theo moved his gaze from Liam to a very interesting crack on the wall. “The other part. Mason said he was right. Was right about what?”

“No idea”, murmured the wolf.

“You know I can tell when you’re lying, right?”

“Yeah, and you are smart enough to put the pieces together, not to mention that you _can’t_ _be_ so fucking blind about my scent and the way my body reacts every time you touch me.”

The anger in Liam’s voice made Theo hurt, as he looked at him again.

“I wasn’t sure”, he said, knowing perfectly well that he wasn’t telling the whole truth.

“So, you _really_ are an idiot.”

And Theo looked away again. “It’s the first time someone likes me the way you do. I didn’t have time for these kind of things before I met you, you know how my life was back then”. He sighed. “I thought that maybe it was just friendship, I’m not an expert on that either.”

The chimera wasn’t lying, but he was consciously playing the victim part because he knew it was Liam’s weak spot and he didn’t want to have that conversation in anger.

It worked, because the wolf’s look softened.

“I can understand that”, Liam said. “And listen… if you don’t feel the same, I get it. Mason is sure you’re into boys, I don’t know why, he says it’s a gay superpower. I don’t know. But the way you act, I mean, how could I not think you are at least into _me_? Can we talk about your fucking scent when I’m around? It feels like you’re about to combust! But every time I try to get close, you reject me. So, if you don’t feel the same, could you stop teasing me? It’s cruel.”

Here it was. The only thing Theo was scared of, the thing he desired the most. Now, the right thing to do was to lie, but it didn’t seem fair.

“I’m not teasing”.

“You’re not?”

Liam’s heart was going crazy, his eyes so blue and bright and hopeful…

“Of course not, Liam. I tried not to fall in love with you, but I failed a long time ago”.

Liam’s eyes were wide in shock. He got rid of the sheets and went to reach him, but Theo made a step back.

“Don’t”, he said, loud and firm. “The way I feel doesn’t change anything”.

“It changes everything”. Liam was right in front of him now, almost completely _naked,_ and looked at him in a way that made Theo feel weak in his legs. The wolf made another step towards him. “Do you think you’re the only one who made progress? That I am the same person I was before I met you? ‘Cause I’m not. I’m better, just like you are. It’s like you said. What we are… what we feel for each other… It changes everything we are and everything we’re not anymore.”

Theo had to fight with all his strength to take some steps back instead of jumping onto Liam. Not to mention this sudden urge to cry like a baby.

“Theo”, Liam was so determined that for a moment the chimera was simply proud of him. “Theo, you have to trust me. I will show yo-”

“No!” Theo couldn’t let that happen. “The only thing you should do, is to forget about me. But apparently, I’m not strong enough to leave you for good, so you should at least try to forget how you feel about me and move on.”

“Why on earth should I do that?!”

“Because I’m not good for you! I’m not worth it!”

“Fuck you. I’m tired of this shit. Stop acting like a martyr.”

“I’m not a martyr, I’m a murderer, a trickster, a freak! You used to hate me for that, don’t you remember? I can’t erase what I did. Even if I’m not that person anymore, nothing can change that! It will always be there! Be honest with yourself!”

“No! _You_ be honest with yourself. I’m perfectly aware of what you did, thank you very much! You did it _to me._ I know I can’t forget that stuff. I know I can’t forgive you yet. Still, I can’t get you out of my fucking head! I know what you did, I know who you were, I know who you are now, _and I still want you!_ That’s scaring the shit out of you, isn’t it?!”

Well, that was a good fucking point, to be fair. Because Theo had never felt more scared in his entire life.

“We can be in each other’s life until you won’t need it anymore, but nothing more”. He marched towards his closet under Liam’s shocked look, and grabbed the first hoodie and the first pair of jeans he found. “Your pack needs us. I’m gonna wait for you in my truck”, and left. He literally ran outside from his own apartment.

Ten minutes later, wearing Theo’s clothes – not that there was another option – Liam joined him. He opened the truck’s door, climbed in, sat down and even put on the seatbelt, without a single word, without a single look in Theo’s direction.

Theo was feeling bad. He used to think that people only could feel one emotion at a time, but now, coming out from Liam, he could feel anger, sadness, and mostly pain. Another thing to add on the already limitless list of things he felt guilty about.

Maybe Liam was right and he was just sabotaging everything because he was too scared to let another person be so close to him.

But Liam was already under his skin, the damage was done.

He glanced at the wolf. Why he had to be so _hot?_ Even though, to be honest, when they first met Theo wasn’t so affected by the wolf’s look. It was like the more time he had spent with Liam, the more Liam had become hotter.

 _Shit, I’m so screwed_.

Theo had always considered himself smart and strong, but now he could see how stupid and weak he really was. No way he could stay away from Liam, his mouth, his skin, his body, especially not now that he knew Liam wanted the same things. They needed to talk this through. And make out. And be both naked in his bed again.

 _Shit, I’m so screwed_.

They were late, but when they arrived Mason and Corey were the only ones already there.

“We should talk”, the chimera said, stopping the truck.

“About what? You already made your point very clear”.

Liam jumped off the truck and slummed the door.

“Liam”, Theo called, doing the same.

“Shut up”.

“Liam, come on”. He tried to catch up with the wolf.

“ _Shut. Up._ Don’t talk to me, ever again”.

Then he joined the two boyfriends who were leaning their back against Corey’s car, looking at them with concern.

“Corey, make sure he doesn’t go anywhere. Mason, follow me”, Liam ordered.

Mason exchanged a confused look with his boyfriend, but then followed Liam into the woods.

Theo and Corey could hear them walking and then the footsteps stopped and were replaced by voices. Liam was so angry and upset that he hadn’t realize he and Mason weren’t far enough.

The chimeras exchanged a look. They weren’t friends – Theo’s only real friend was Liam – but since Corey was always with Mason, who was always with Liam, who was always with Theo, their paths crossed very often and they had started to build some sort of mutual respect. After Theo had apologised for what he had done to him and the whole McCall pack, of course.

Corey opened his mouth, maybe to yell something at Liam to warn him, but Theo stopped him raising a hand. He didn’t say anything, but Corey took pity at his begging eyes, and kept his mouth shut.

Mason’s voice sounded alarmed even at that distance.

_“What happened?”_

_“We didn’t do anything”._

_“You didn’t sleep together?”_

_“No, we just slept. Literally slept”._

_“So why are you angry and not talking to him?”_

_“’Cause you were right, okay? I give up, you were always right. I have feelings for him, and I told him, and he feels the same”._

_“I’m lost. Isn’t that… good?”_

_“Looks like he_ does _have these feelings for me, but he doesn’t want them!_ He doesn’t want me. _‘Cause he thinks he’s a piece of shit…”_

_“Well, he’s not wrong…”_

_“…and so, we should just stay friends. We both want to fuck each other but hey, what a wonderful idea to ignore that for no good reason and just stay friends.”_

_“He’s a fucking idiot”._

_“I hate him”._

_“No, you don’t”._

Theo was looking at his feet, considering the idea of leaving Beacon Hills to land on fucking Mars. Corey was looking at him in astonishment.

And then Stiles’ jeep arrived.

Liam and Mason came back at the same time Scott, Stiles, Lydia and Malia got out of the car.

“Everything okay?”, Scott asked, suspiciously, sensing the tension.

“Ah, you have no idea…”, Corey murmured.

Scott was glad enough to see Liam fully recovered, so he didn’t investigate yet. Instead, he explained his plan. Only three creatures had survived the battle, and Malia had already tracked them, so they were going to split. Mason and Stiles were going to talk to the Sheriff, Lydia and Malia were going after one of the creatures, Corey and Liam after the other, and Scott and Theo after the last one.

“Why?”, Theo asked. “Why do you want me on your team?” He was hoping to be with Liam as usual, so they could talk.

“Because I want to keep an eye on you”, was the cold answer from Scott.

 _Wonderful_ , Theo thought. Actually, that was a good thing, a great chance to prove himself to the alpha, it just wasn’t the right moment.

Lydia and Malia left first, Mason and Stiles were ready to jump on the jeep.

Corey and Liam exchanged a fist bump and were ready to go too, but Theo couldn’t let them. He just couldn’t let Liam go to face one of his nightmares without clearing the air, without talk to him again. They needed to be okay.

“Liam, wait”. Theo reached him and grabbed his wrist, pulling him closer.

“What?”, was the sharp response, but he lifted his hurting eyes on Theo’s face.

“I’m sorry about what happened. I panicked”.

“No way”.

Theo would’ve laughed if he wasn’t so tense.

“I meant every word I said.”

“I know”. Now, Liam just sounded very pissed.

Theo was talking about the part when he had said he was in love with Liam, but of course the wolf couldn’t get it straight away. Too easy, right?

“I’m not good at this”, Theo bit his lips.

“I can notice”.

“I changed my mind”.

“About what?”

Liam was holding his breath and Theo could hear both their hearts beating at the same rhythm.

“About us”.

“Why? You just said it: you meant every word. So, you don’t deserve me, I deserve better, you’re bad, I’m good, we’re cursed, and all that shit”.

“I never said we’re cursed”. Theo dared to smile.

Liam looked away for a second. “Still…Why would you change your mind?”

“Because it looks like you’re not the only selfish asshole here”.

Theo put a hand on the back of Liam’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

It wasn’t soft, or sweet. It was a rough kiss, hungry, almost violent. But Theo knew Liam wanted it and needed it just that way, and sure enough the wolf parted his lips so their tongues could meet, and grabbed the chimera at the hips to pull him closer.

 _“Fucking finally”,_ said Mason. Corey laughed. Stiles shook his head in disbelief.

Liam and Theo ignored them all. That burning kiss was something they had waited for way too long, and their faces only parted in the end because they needed to breathe, but Liam didn’t let go of Theo’s waist, and Theo tied his fingers in Liam’s hair.

“I meant _every_ word I said”, Theo whispered against the wolf’s lips.

And this time Liam got it, because he replied with a smile: “I love you, too”.

Scott cleared his throat. “We’re on a mission, guys”.

Liam smiled and let go, walking backwards, eyes still on the chimera.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, show’s over”, he said loud, to the others, but incapable to move his gaze from Theo’s.

Theo put his hands in the pockets of his hoodie and almost sighed with tenderness at the sight of Liam looking like the happiest man alive, knowing that the wolf was really _truly_ happy because of him.

Corey was still grinning, and the moment Liam caught up with him again, they started running and disappeared into the woods.

Scott’s voice broke Theo’s bubble.

“If you’re gonna hurt him, I’m gonna rip out your guts and eat them”.

Mason nodded. “Yeah, same here… ew, no, it’s really too fucking gross, but I’m gonna set them on fire”.

 _Ah, this is going to be fun_ , Theo thought, with a smirk, but he couldn’t complain about the death threats because, for the first time in his life, he had made someone happy, and was finally happy himself.

_“At least, Lydia still owes me twenty bucks”._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first fanfic on Ao3 is over! I’m a little emotional. Thanks for all the kudos and the comments, they mean a lot to me <3  
> Maybe I’ll write more in this fandom in the future :)
> 
> Like I said in the previous chapters: English is not my first language, so I’m afraid there are some errors, I’m sorry. Of course, comments pointing them out are very appreciated. Thank you! I hope you enjoyed the reading :)


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